The Importance of Absurdity
Monday, March 01, 2004
 
The injustice of life is incredible. I mean, I do all the right things to stay safe. I try to park under street lamps at night. I have my key in hand before reaching my car. I have a guy or a group of girls walk me to my car in sketchy areas, at any time of day. If I'm in a sketchy area, I lock my doors when I'm driving. I know the things to do and I do them. But even still, there's times when those simply aren't enough, or when you make stupid mistakes. Like Friday night.
I went to the women's game, but I was a bit later than I'd hoped, so I had to park further away and cut across the soccer field, like most people do (I'm usually super early and get an excellent spot). But because it was senior night, most everyone was already there when I parked, leaving the lot empty of people. Except me. And the guy (mid-late twenties) who walked by as I got out of the car. He said hi quite chipperly (is that a word?) and I, surprisingly, responded in a similar tone. I haven't decided yet if that was my first mistake or not. As he continued to make small talk, I started slowing down a bit, so I wouldn't be walking next to him. As we reached the soccer field, we found that none of the lights were on (it's usually blindingly well lit). He turned to me and said "Well, it's a bit less lit than normal, isn't it?". And I, to my horror, said "Yeah, I was just thinking that". I cringed as soon as I said it and immediately wished my cell phone would ring, so I could get my mind off the stupidity of my statement. But that's when I realized that I'd left my cell in my car; I didn't want to bother bringing it in, since I wouldn't need it. Great. There I was, walking across a deserted and completely un-lit soccer field, with a strange man, without a cell phone, no one in close enough range to heard me if I screamed. You can imagine the tupes of horros that were running through my mind. There was nothing I could do but stay a "safe" distance behind him and pray.
Of course, nothing happened. The guy wasn't even really all that sketchy, just a bit too friendly for my tastes (and especially for the situation). It turns out that he's a grad student, and I think he thought I was an undergrad. So, again, not really sketchy. And yeah, I did say/do some not so brilliant things (ie, admitting to noticing the dark, leaving my cell in my car, being late in general). But even still, I was scared out of my freakin mind. I'm sure it won't be the last time something like that happens to me. It wasn't the first. And it really sucks. It's not something that I can grow out of. I'm always gonna be a tiny girl. Even when I'm old and married, it won't go away. And that really sucks.