Egads. The world is completely disillusioned tonight. It's one of those nights where I could get in bed and cry for hours. Over nothing. Which is why I'm still up. Despite how much I need to, crying solves nothing. It's impractical. And practicality is key.
I hate that I'm leaving everyone I care about during my last real summer. I hate that I don't know what I want to do year after next. I hate tornados. Mostly, I just hate growing up. It really friggin sucks. Everyone's talking about how they're gonna make next year the best and live it up to the fullest...but really, can't I just wake up in college, with all the memories of a fun senior year? I just don't want to go through all the pain, the heartbreak, the stress, the drama, the crap of next year. And it's all gonna be there, just like every other year. Can't Jesus come back before I screw things up any more? And why can't I just be me...why can't I just figure out who me is? Who the flip am I, for real? I swear, I might as well have multiple personality disorder. Shoot, we've even named my personalities! Why can't there just be one me? Why can't I be the same person with everyone?
I honestly just feel like the walls are closing in on me. We're talking serious paranoia here. About absolutely frickin nothing! At least last time I had a decent enough reason (Dumb? Yes. Justifiable? Yes). It's not even like a "holy-crap-I-need-to-get-out-of-this-place-before-I-explode" type thing. It's just plain a "I'm-completely-overwhelmed-by-nothing" thing. I would be perfectly content crawling into a hole and hibernating for a couple years.
In any event, I'm off to bed. Which means...SCREW PRACTICALITY!!!

- thoughts provided by Katey Orr @ 1:12 AM