The Importance of Absurdity
Saturday, August 30, 2003
 
So, it�s definitely quarter to six on a Saturday afternoon. And I�m at home, on the computer. I�m really not a loser. I was out from 7:15am-midnight yesterday and was only home for like, half an hour. Went to Old Navy and got my hair cut (my goodness, I love it!) with Wendy. Then went to Christina�s and started on our �Durham shirts� (not sure you should even ask!). Then went to the football game with Christina and marveled at the retardedness of the people at our school. Then went back to Stina�s and finished our shirts/talked about everything imaginable for an hour and half. I think that�s why I love hanging out with Stina so much. We can and do talk about everything, even though the conversation tends to end up on colleges. But even still.
What�s amazing though is that everyone I�ve really talked to (or read a blog of) in the past 2 or 3 weeks is lonely. It really just seems like everyone�s lonely! I certainly am. It just seems weird to me that everyone can be lonely. Why not reach out to someone and say, �Hey, I�m lonely too, let�s hang out�? Wouldn�t that just solve loneliness issues? At least, temporarily? But then again, maybe that�s why we�re all lonely. I was reading a blog today of someone who�s lonely, someone who just wants to be loved. And I thought, �Wow, that�s me! That�s exactly how it is for me!� Did I send him and email or IM him and tell him that, tell him that I�d love to hang out with him, tell him that we could be lonely together? Nope. Why? �He�d think I�m weird�. I�m not real sure when that started becoming a big concern for me. If someone were to tell me the same things I would have told him, would I find them weird? Nope. I�d actually think they were pretty cool. I guess I just don�t trust brothers and sisters enough to believe that they�d accept the fact that I�m the same way. And of course, because I didn�t email him or whatever, I�m gonna regret it. Maybe he�d have thought I was weird, but maybe I�d have really made his day. Maybe I�d have really encouraged him and helped him out. And no, it�s not too late to do something about it. But now it seems almost halfhearted. I had to carefully consider whether or not I wanted to contact him. I wouldn�t be doing it because I thought it was a good idea and really meant whatever I said. I�d be doing it because I�d be concerned about regretting it. And that�s just cheap. In the words of a Girl Scout camp game, what a goose am I! But whatdya say, should I go for it?