The Importance of Absurdity
Wednesday, October 15, 2003
 
It feels like such an ordinary night. And I s'pose it is to the rest of the world. But for me, tonight's like a cliff looking over the torrent of life. It's as though all my life I've been running as fast as I could and tonight I've hit the edge of the cliff, hanging on for dear life, but knowing that I'll soon fall. As cliche as it may be, tonight's the culmination of my life thus far; tomorrow, I turn 18.
"With the fears of a girl and the heart of a woman and everything in between"...and honestly, that's about all I have to say!

- thoughts provided by Katey Orr @ 9:08 PM
 
You know how the way to most girls hearts' is chocolate or flowers or swoony songs or candlelight dinners or such? Well, not the case with me. Of course, I'm all about all of those things and anyone who ever wants to give me those is more than welcome. Let me make that much clear! :) However, my mom and I decided this weekend that the way to my heart is sour peaches. I will fall in love with any boy that ever gives me a bag of sour peaches (except Chris and Jon, of course...I know your tricks!). There will be sour peaches all over the place at my wedding. I will be friends with anyone who gives me sour peaches. In fact, I've even promised to be forever in debt to someone who once bought me a pound of them. All I can say is, you can't underestimate the power of sour peaches!

- thoughts provided by Katey Orr @ 4:47 PM
Tuesday, October 14, 2003
 
Just so that everyone's aware, traipsing around Colonial Williamsburg with your mom all day is eleventy billion times better than going to school. Call it skipping if you will (cough*David*cough), but it beats school everyday!

1) Favorite mode of transportation?
2) Country you'd most like to visit?
3) City in America you'd most like to visit?
4) Favorite travel experience?
5) Farthest you've been from home?

- thoughts provided by Katey Orr @ 9:49 PM
Sunday, October 12, 2003
 
Somedays, I'm weary. Somedays, I'm empty. Somedays, I could dance for hours and never stop to catch my breath. And somedays, I could write the most profound statement, the most meaningful essay, the story that would touch a soul...if only I could write it. Those are the days that scare me.
I've always thought of myself as a writer. I can remember writing poetry as early as first grade, possibly even before. I was always the one writing the elaborate plots with the unexpected twists. Apparently, my fascination with murder (wow, that sounds RETARDED!) started early--I remember writing a murder mystery story in 3rd grade. By middle school, I was the poetry queen. When my friends needed a poem for some thing or another, they'd ask me to write it for them. My family always writes poems for gifts, as IOUs of sorts. They'd always get me to do them. Even freshman year, I obsessed over writing poetry. But then, out of no where, I stopped.
I stopped writing all together. No poems, no stories, no songs. I kept telling myself that it was because no one cared what I had to say and that I needed time to grow up before I wrote anything that was worth reading. But looking back, that's not really why. I was so utterly terrified of not measuring up. I had this idea that the few people who read my work had this glorified image of me, one that I could never live up to. To some extent, I was right. But mostly, I was scared of the challange. I don't know if I was too lazy or too shy or too stupid, but for whatever reason, I didn't want to be good. No, that's not true. I wanted to be good. I just didn't want to have to work to be good.
That makes me sad more than probably anything. I've done tons of stupid things, but that may top them all off. And it's not completely too late. If I worked at it, I could still be worth reading some day. But it was such a perfect time for me, the perfect time to rise to the challange and I blew it. I was ripe. I was ready. I could have been good. I mean, the thought of that just blows my mind. I could have been good! I've never been good at anything! And I guess now I never will.

- thoughts provided by Katey Orr @ 11:28 PM

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