School is officially overwhelming now, and it's only been 3 weeks. 15 days. 90 class periods. I know that part of it is that I have several things due tomorrow and I put them off all week 'til today. And really, it's not so much the workload. Yeah, it's more than I've ever had, but with the classes I have, that's expected. I'm the type of person that can get it all done, regardless of how much (that's not to say I do get it all done, but I can if I want to). It more just the idea of school. This year seems so much longer, May seems so much further away than it has all the other years. I wonder most everyday if I'll really make it to May without going completely psycho. I'm not convinced that I will. I mean, I flat out can't see myself walking across the stage at Cameron Indoor on May 27, 2004. I think I just don't believe that I'll actually graduate. Which is ridiculous, seeing as I'm in no danger at all of not graduating. So maybe it's just the thought of doing all this work, putting in all that effort, taking up so much time, spending so much money and then it all being worthless.
Is it worthless regardless though? I mean, I don't really need those 18 hours of credit that I'll start college with at all. I'd have no trouble graduating in 4 years with just the APUSH credit I already have. There's no issue anymore of my graduating early. Even to save the 'rents money. Between Duke money and an 87% chance at a Rhodes scholarship, my 'rents aren't gonna be paying a ton anyway. Not to mention that all 4 of us (my dad's going back to school spring semester) are filling out FAFSA for next year. Even if I were to end up at a more expensive school than Rhodes (if I could even get in to one!), we'd be ok money wise. Which makes me wonder why I keep beating myself over the head and telling myself I have to get 4's or 5's on this year's AP tests. Goodness, I can't even make sense of myself. How could anyone else?
- thoughts provided by Katey Orr @ 5:51 PM