Lately, I've found myself doing a hell of a lot of things alone. Which kinda makes me laugh. Because I really have no idea when I got so independent. It feels right though. My mom thinks GSW is the reason. But I wasn't at all independent at GSW. I spent every waking moment with either the orchestra girls (and Matt) or Ian's posse. No, it wasn't GSW at all. Actually, I think I do know when it happened. Sometime this fall, I just decided that it was time to stop missing out on stuff just because I would have had to go alone. In fact, I even know what triggered it. Steep Canyon Rangers played at Cat's Cradle on my birthday. And I wanted to go. But all my friends either couldn't go or didn't want to. So I ended up not going. And after that, I realized how frickin'' stupid it is to miss out of cool stuff just because no one would go with me. So now I do stuff alone. I go to concerts alone (and let me tell you, going to concerts by yourself is muchly awesome). I go to movies alone. I go to restaurants alone. I go to basketball games alone. I go to Duke Gardens alone. And you know what? Since this fall, my level of confidence has soared. Because, let's face it--I always put on a good act (or maybe it wasn't so good), but I never had ANY confidence. None in the least bit. Ever. But now, I've got plenty. Too much maybe (although, the way I see it, as long as my brother's got more, I'm still good). And there's no doubt in my mind that it's because I started doing stuff alone. So today, I'm spending my senior skip day alone. Not exactly what I would have chosen, but given the situation, completely understandable (because prom is tonight, school rules say you have to go to 3 class periods to attend, so everyone's in school this morning and then getting ready for prom after they leave, which leaves me no one to do anything with). I had decided months ago that I was gonna spend my senior skip day on the lake, so that's just what I'm gonna do. And then, tonight, I'm gonna see SpencerAcuff (my parents: "AGAIN?!?") by myself, unless Patty ends up going. But the great thing is, after spending the day by myself, I'm going to Summer's after-prom dessert party with everyone (including Kevin, who's also not going to prom, because he's going to see Ben Folds in Charlotte). And that's what I love--I'm doing exactly what I want to do today and I'm not bothered in the slightest that I'm doing most of it alone.
- thoughts provided by Katey Orr @ 10:11 AM