The Importance of Absurdity
Sunday, July 06, 2003
 
I think I've purposefully been avoiding my blog. I'm not really sure why. I think part of it is that I was a little sad for a while. And I don't like writing when I'm sad. And then, there really just wasn't much to write about. I mean, there was, but there wasn't. Make sense? Good.

Remember how like 2 months ago I posted about being scared about going to GSW and such? Well, I think I was right. I mean, my fears were justified. I am changing. I can feel it. And the friendships I was scared of losing? Or rather, the friendship I was scared of losing? Yeah, it's pretty much gone. And you know what my excuse has been? "Yeah, things just didn't work out 'cause I wasn't here this summer". Which is exactly what I predicted 2 months ago. I don't much like it when I predict the future. It is amusing to me though that I was so worried about losing this one friendship, but now that it's gone, I almost don't even care. Well, that's not very fair. I do care. I do wish things were nice and swoony the way they used to be. But I know full and well that God had no intention of us being together and I simply can't argue with that in the least bit. Which is why it's been relatively painless. It's also been comforting to know that God doesn't want me to be with anyone at this point in my life. I mean, it's not that I haven't had the offers. 'Cause I have. But to look at my life and say "Hey, God says there's no room for someone right now and I'm in full agreement"...well, it's a nice feeling. And it's been a while since I've felt like that.